Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
