During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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