I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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