I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
