Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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