I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
did i just pee glitter
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
