I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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