I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
