he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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