omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
