Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
