omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
