i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
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That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
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The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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