There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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