I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
