Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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