i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize