i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
