i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
