I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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