how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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