She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize