Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
