You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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