NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
