if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
