whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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