If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
don't judge my taste in strippers
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
