I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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