Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
