Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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