i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
