if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
