Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
