are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
