I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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