Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
