OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
