Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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