Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
