I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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