Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
