her vagine was all disorganized.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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