Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
