Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
