Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
