32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
