the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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