Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize