Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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