Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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