Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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