So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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