addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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