mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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