like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize