I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
