I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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